When I was in high school, I was never part of a clique. I got along with almost everyone, but I could never quite fit in with a clique. I floated about, mingling with people who crossed my path. I had some good friends, and quite a few that I spent a good amount of time with. But it was very hard for me to fit in. I was always on the outskirts of a half dozen different groups.
It seems things haven’t changed much. Whether it’s my social or professional life, I am always just on the outside of cliques. I’m okay with this. I accepted a long time ago that I will never be one of the cool kids. Hell, part of that was by my own design. I always stood my ground and insisted that I be accepted exactly as I am.
I live my life on the terms I set. I will continue to do so. I want the acceptance of the cool kids, I always have, but I’m also not a follower. I will continue to do what I do regardless. I can hope for acceptance, but if I don’t get it, at least I can have the solace of knowing that I have been true to myself.
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I love you guys!
- Warren Buffett
If you haven’t picked up my sketchbook, grab one now! They make great Christmas gifts! While you’re at it, pick up a shirt or a decal for your laptop!
- Jay Z
I continuously over extend myself in an effort to reach a new height of whatever it is I have committed to. From the outsider perspective, it would probably seem like I have a desire for excellence and a drive for improvement.
The truth is, I feel like a shark. I feel like if I stop moving I will die. And part of this is true. Over the years, I have found that I need to constantly be pushing toward a new goal, or surrounded by crisis to work at my full potential. Every time life eases up, I start to fall apart. The paradox is that whenever I am in the midst of the hard work I just want it to be over. The drive for improvement does not come from a desire to be better, but from a fear of collapsing.
I am a hungry ghost. I don’t know what satisfaction is. That never stops me from seeking it. It’s kind of funny that I’ve spent years studying philosophy and spirituality in order to find that sense of peace and happiness, yet it eludes me. I understand the ideas and concepts, both practical and existential, yet none of them click into place in practice.
I’ll continue forward since we can never go back.